Beneath a Red Hood (Revision 2.1)

[Lizzie]

Revision 2.1

Hunger is a breathless dance 
of teeth; the smell of bricks, -- I like bricks/stink/it/prick/skip. I'd consider bringing in a modifier (I know, I know) like you had with rusted iron. Rusted was a good word -- if you had just said "iron" I would have gotten very little, but rust has lots of connotations. With the pennies, I was able to get a taste, which is linked to smell. What's something bad that bricks could smell/taste like?
I stink of it.

It's getting tighter and more polished. Good work.