Wills
#4
(06-20-2017, 06:35 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  Wills
 
It wasn't you that flopped out dead
on the Godless sheets 
of a hospital bed
when your mother miscarried.
 
But you know you were baptized
in another girl's name.

maybe "testament" could work better as a title than "wills" (the latter makes me think of will as in will power or determination)
another thing is that it would be pretty cruel if parents told their child that his/ her name was meant to belong to a miscarried sibling (almost to the point it distracts me and makes me wonder about probabilities) . so i thought you could write "but you think you were baptized..."
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Messages In This Thread
Wills - by Tiger the Lion - 06-20-2017, 06:35 AM
RE: Wills - by nibbed - 06-21-2017, 10:55 AM
RE: Wills - by Tiger the Lion - 06-22-2017, 04:23 AM
RE: Wills - by vagabond - 06-22-2017, 04:25 AM
RE: Wills - by The Four-Eyed Cat - 06-22-2017, 07:18 AM
RE: Wills - by Achebe - 06-22-2017, 07:44 PM



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