06-21-2017, 08:01 AM
"Where did the time go?"
At first it struck me as odd, but then I realised it referred to a very specific arc of time, and in its oddity I found it striking. (pun not intended)
The whole poem flows easily, being prose in verses, yet the two enjambements and the overall shortness of the verses give it a rhythm, a light one, paradoxically, considering how hard "whimsically" and "of twenty years" hit; that's the time she was referring to, and to that lonely adverb is entrusted the task of summing up ever so briefly all the asperities of a marriage. Then comes the first of the two brilliant contrasts, a fake smile dying out, as another one stretches: separating this strophe really gave it the solemnity it had to have.
In the end, his not knowing juxtaposed to her pretending to, his tone different (I imagined it as soft and wistful), and she who wanted to be consoled forcibly consoling him with a lie.
The lack of structure and simplicity of this poem really fitted its message, letting its few images speak volumes, or rather, twenty years.
I apologise in case I interpreted it too personally, or misunderstood part of it.
Nothing else to say, other than very nicely done! =)
At first it struck me as odd, but then I realised it referred to a very specific arc of time, and in its oddity I found it striking. (pun not intended)
The whole poem flows easily, being prose in verses, yet the two enjambements and the overall shortness of the verses give it a rhythm, a light one, paradoxically, considering how hard "whimsically" and "of twenty years" hit; that's the time she was referring to, and to that lonely adverb is entrusted the task of summing up ever so briefly all the asperities of a marriage. Then comes the first of the two brilliant contrasts, a fake smile dying out, as another one stretches: separating this strophe really gave it the solemnity it had to have.
In the end, his not knowing juxtaposed to her pretending to, his tone different (I imagined it as soft and wistful), and she who wanted to be consoled forcibly consoling him with a lie.
The lack of structure and simplicity of this poem really fitted its message, letting its few images speak volumes, or rather, twenty years.
I apologise in case I interpreted it too personally, or misunderstood part of it.
Nothing else to say, other than very nicely done! =)