Lizzie and Vagabond,
I spent a lot of time considering all of your comments. I played around with the suggestions and adopted some of them. While I doubt any poem is finished, you both helped me clarify my choices. I do appreciate it. I hope this is improved.
Best,
Todd
Hey Richard, sorry I forgot to mention your contributions. I had a working revision from your initial comments that I then revised from Lizzie and Vagabond. I took your advice on the wine break, but than killed the idea of wine entirely because of Lizzie's later comment I agreed with. I know I didn't address some of your questions because I tend not to in the thread on purpose. Hopefully, the revision and maybe some of the other comments also answered some things.
I spent a lot of time considering all of your comments. I played around with the suggestions and adopted some of them. While I doubt any poem is finished, you both helped me clarify my choices. I do appreciate it. I hope this is improved.
Best,
Todd
Hey Richard, sorry I forgot to mention your contributions. I had a working revision from your initial comments that I then revised from Lizzie and Vagabond. I took your advice on the wine break, but than killed the idea of wine entirely because of Lizzie's later comment I agreed with. I know I didn't address some of your questions because I tend not to in the thread on purpose. Hopefully, the revision and maybe some of the other comments also answered some things.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson