06-20-2017, 09:25 PM
Hiya 67eager,
Thanks for sharing - a vivid read! You've definitely been able to evoke images which are powerful - nice one.
There are a couple of things which left me unsatisfied, though, as others have said.
+ "Sub-legal trade" felt a bit messy and needs explaining.
+ "Plumb logs", can you explain this?
+ I, again like others, am not loving the rhyme scheme - it's quite uneven and distracts me from the words. But then again, I never use rhyme myself and am probably biased.
Just quibbles - the poem as a whole is great!
Joe
Thanks for sharing - a vivid read! You've definitely been able to evoke images which are powerful - nice one.
There are a couple of things which left me unsatisfied, though, as others have said.
+ "Sub-legal trade" felt a bit messy and needs explaining.
+ "Plumb logs", can you explain this?
+ I, again like others, am not loving the rhyme scheme - it's quite uneven and distracts me from the words. But then again, I never use rhyme myself and am probably biased.
Just quibbles - the poem as a whole is great!
Joe