Third Edit: Lost Dreams

[vagabond]

Hey all,
I made some extensive changes to this poem. Feel free to let me know what you think.

Cheers,
Richard

the third version is too concrete in my view. I liked the second version best, as I think it is fine to talk about hope in general, doesn´t need explanations cause every reader has his own associations with hopeless situations.
 
I don´t understand when exactly hope left in your poem (2nd version). in the second stanza it was there (if only in a “rotten” way, like some delusion). in the third it seems to be gone and maybe waited for (to come back) and feared (like a plague) at the same time..

where I stumble a little  is that in the 1st stanza flying is associated with hope leaving and in the 2nd stanza flying seems to symbolize some resurrection of hope´s function.

anyway, it´s an interesting theme.