Lightly Tossed
#4
Hey WJ, enjoyed this. A couple thoughts below

(06-16-2017, 02:15 AM)Wjames Wrote:  Half empty bottles of ranch dressing with "bottles" plural and 'ranch' specified, I wonder why not one kid wanted wanted a creamy cucumber or a mango vinaigrette. - a short list might not hurt the piece. I realize you can't use the word salad again - you need it later
were found rotting by the corpse
of the community garden.

The neighbourhood youth had heard
that radishes amplify the effects
of marijuana cigarettes, 
and delay the arrival of orgasm.

These rumours were proven true
when the ensuing orgy devolved devolved is tripping me here. There's an anti-climax (sorry) For me it reads better with the last 2 lines reversed... my read below - oblige me, only because you mentioned it. 
into a free range salad bar.
The rumours were proven true
when a free range salad bar
devolved into orgy.

Thanks for the read WJ. I enjoyed it from a few angles.
Paul
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Messages In This Thread
Lightly Tossed - by Wjames - 06-16-2017, 02:15 AM
RE: Lightly Tossed - by ellajam - 06-16-2017, 03:16 AM
RE: Lightly Tossed - by Wjames - 06-20-2017, 03:25 AM
RE: Lightly Tossed - by Tiger the Lion - 06-20-2017, 06:11 AM
RE: Lightly Tossed - by Wjames - 06-28-2017, 09:05 AM



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