confession

[Keith]

Hi RiverNotch
I enjoyed your poem, I read this as the N pulling an all nighter playing Warhammer, I like the ending as it feels like a release the fresh air of movement its that same feeling you get when you stop binge watching on Netflix and decide to move. Some comments below. Best Keith

confession The title implies guilt so what follows by implication is a guilty pleasure ?


in the middle of the night Nibbed comment has screwed this for me I can only read it by singing it, That said it is a little bland a good set up but no hook
hands that touch, a tongue that licks -- the comfort of a pet seems to have a special place in the small hours, I like this.

morning. scarlet cloth, candlestick ready to pierce, to force open I know how this feels, nice word choices
my nine mouths and burn me brighter
than the temple in Kislev, or Av, or Nisan -- I dont think you need the extra references here

i grab my phone. i plug my headphones in. i link, i listen.do you need the I's ?
i exhale. through the open window eyes that watch: bodies on the shelf, I get a good image of a warm morning just waking up, nicely done
cameras in the distance --

cats on a cooling roof, our lips as keys. Not sure about this line so will need to re read