Fifth Edit: The Swans in Wentworth Park

[vagabond]

Hey makeshift,
Thanks for the feedback. I wonder if dropping the word "dream" from the last, would strengthen the ending?

Thanks again,
Richard

in my  opinion it would be better (since I don´t understand how a heartbreak can not be more potent than a dream..)
though I wonder a little how the subject could be so sure about the animal´s feelings, it would reduce the (perceived) subject´s heartbreak a lot.