06-15-2017, 06:10 AM
Thanks to everyone, for reading and commenting.
I have been trying to write very compact pieces and I think this one got fragmented and fell victim to its own brevity. - (I'm fine with trial and error.) Obviously the title is not working. - It looks cryptic even to me now. Also, ELEVEN beers was a huge mistake. Haha. Suicide was not an intended reading. I'm not sure if I can salvage this piece without tripling its length and losing the original thought. I will, however, attempt a quick edit and see if it makes a difference.
Thanks again,
Paul
Observing Courage
all day in my head
ran the starts and stops
of Normandy, Normandy, Normandy, Nor…
I’ve had four beers
with my prescribed Clonazepam
and only just stopped shaking.
I have been trying to write very compact pieces and I think this one got fragmented and fell victim to its own brevity. - (I'm fine with trial and error.) Obviously the title is not working. - It looks cryptic even to me now. Also, ELEVEN beers was a huge mistake. Haha. Suicide was not an intended reading. I'm not sure if I can salvage this piece without tripling its length and losing the original thought. I will, however, attempt a quick edit and see if it makes a difference.
Thanks again,
Paul
Observing Courage
all day in my head
ran the starts and stops
of Normandy, Normandy, Normandy, Nor…
I’ve had four beers
with my prescribed Clonazepam
and only just stopped shaking.