Third Edit: Lost Dreams

[Achebe]

Enjoyed it very much. The improvement over the original is phenomenal. Thanks for posting.

Second Edit:

Lost Dream

Where has our hope gone?  ...'did go' sounds better than 'has gone', even though you have 'did' again in L2. 'Has gone' sounds like it's been missing for the last five minutes, while 'did go' sounds like you've had plenty of time to look for it unsuccessfully.

Did it try to migrate .... I'd drop the 'try to', which makes the line rather clunky. Alternatively, 'Did it try / to migrate / for winter on a broken wing'; sounds better...at least to my ear. I would in fact suggest you brink back the 'south' and phrase it as 'did it migrate / south for winter / on a broken wing'?
for winter 
on a broken wing? .. I'm divided on this. 'Broken wing' is cliched, and I'm not sure what to make of the suggestion that your hope  was desperate to get away from you - the import seems rather hard to follow. Otherwise, the flight theme forms a link with S2, which is good.

Or did it burrow  .. I'd drop the 'did it'
into rotten meat
so it could fly again? ... Flight again, but moving from bird to fly....leads well into S3

Perhaps it’ll come back to us,
silent and dangerous,
like a plague. .. this strophe is unexpected and sublime. The idea of plague forms a link with the image of the fly in S2, which maintains unity. The ending resonates at various levels.


First Edit:
Lost Dream

where has our hope gone?

did it try to migrate
for winter
on a broken wing?

or did it burrow
into rotten meat
so it could fly again?

perhaps it’ll come back to us
silent and unnoticed
as bacteria


Original Version:
Lost Dream

what has happened to our hope?

did it try to migrate south
for winter
on a broken wing?

or did it burrow
deep into rotten meat
only to hatch anew?

perhaps it’s not even lost
staying silent
and unnoticed as a shadow