Overboard...edited. All.

[Richard]

Hey tectak,
This is a wonderful poem. I enjoyed it so much that it actually made me smile as I read it. I'll go into more detail below:

The wildest seas had risen up the night old Donny died. -Is the name "Donny" used because of the way it flows with the meter, or is there another reason?
Close running to the western gales and on an awkward tide,
the Gina Belle had tumbled on,
her stern was low, her going gone. -I love "her going gone." It's such a great way to describe the ship's dire situation. Just wonderful wording.
The tumult thrashed and spun her round,
in waves that broke on jagged ground
no more than half a league away. -I find it interesting that the focus goes back to land here. Is this wishful thinking on part of the speaker?
 
Flayed bladderwrack flew in the spray, old Donny fought the wheel. -This line is strong because it creates some nice images in my mind. In my opinion, you definitely succeed at pulling the reader into this story. 
The grounding shook her, jarred her straight and pinned her by the keel;
Again, again, again she skewed
until her timbers cracked and flew -I love how a lot this poem is just stuff flying around. That really captures the spirit of a storm like this.
in shards that rained upon the deck,
or what was left, until she wrecked
upon the heartless, granite shore. -Again, the speaker shifts focus back to land. Is this done in the first two stanzas to add emphasis to the ending of the third stanza (Donny's death) by breaking this trend?
 
But Donny, thrown into the swell, unhitched his line, made free.
Down deep he dived in to the rage, in hopes of calmer sea; -I feel like this line could be expanded upon. I would like to hear some thoughts from Donny when he is contemplating jumping into the raging water rather than going down with the ship.
he swam below, some distance gained,
then burst for breath while wreckage rained
around him, crashing everywhere.
The anchor hit him hard and square -The word "square" doesn't quite work for me. I think you need to be more vicious with how you describe his death. Did the blunt trauma kill him or was he impaled? It's morbid, but I want to know.   
and Donny died a sailor’s death.
 
tectak
2017


Original

The wildest seas had risen up the night that Donny died.
Close running to the western gales and on an awkward tide,
the Gina Belle had tumbled on
her stern was low, her going gone.
The tumult turned her round and round,
in waves that broke on jagged ground
no more than half a league away.
 
The bladderwrack flew in the spray as Donny fought the wheel.
The grounding shook her, jarred her straight and pinned her by the keel;
Again, again, again she skewed
until her timbers cracked and flew
in shards that rained upon the deck,
or what was left, until she wrecked
upon the heartless granite shore.
 
Donny had thrown into the swell, unhitched his line, made free.
Down deep he dived in to the rage, in hopes of calmer sea;  
he swam below, some distance gained,
then burst for breath while wreckage rained
around him, crashing everywhere.
The anchor hit him hard and square
and Donny died a sailor’s death.
 
tectak
2017
This inspired by the book (if that is the right word)  Able Seaman Albert by John Charlton. There will be more to the tale as time goes by. This is the short version...as some deduced.
Thanks to brownlie, flower, nibbed.
tectak

Overall, this is a strong piece, and I enjoyed having the opportunity to critique.

Cheers,
Richard