First Edit: Dying Alone

[Flowerchild1093]

Dying Alone

The thought of dying first is killing me.
I know we searched and found our path, my wife, I think you have alot of options for changing up this line, it doesn't seem quite right the way that it is. "I know" could be removed, and personally I think you should pick between searched out or found. Then toward the end, perhaps "I and my wife"
like great detectives solve a mystery,
but clues won't guarantee an afterlife. Guarantee just doesn't feel like the right word here. It's not fitting, somehow.

Some nights I cage these fears inside my mind,
yet I am trapped by knowing people die
at any time, and leave their love behind,
while in the earth what's left of them must lies.

So now the trail is lost or done; no light
will end a tunnel, nor begin this trip.
I'll curse my daily nap, too old to fight,
before the evening warms my lonely lip. What exactly about the evening in specific is warming to your loneliness?

And ("just?") when I think I've overcome my fears,
they'll make a grand escape; their tracks ("become?") my tears.

All in all I enjoyed the poem as a whole, and hope the the critique helps you out.