06-10-2017, 03:50 AM
Firstly, thanks to all those for the thorough feedback! here is the first edit of the poem. The original version is down below.
Edit 1:
When the Trojan horse was still a foal,
there burned a flame within a soul.
I feel its passion kindling the ember in my veins,
compelling me to hold the world by its reins.
Whether I was Charlemagne or Alexander,
kings and empires would crumble beneath my canter.
Biblical clay that would be hardened by heresy,
turned every flame into a testimony to my legacy.
My will; an inferno that would seek to ignite,
would entice others with the fragrance of might.
The fire that made even the gods tremble and fall,
made sure no man was able to withstand its call.
Arise, ye who would burn down Olympus with their own flame;
Let the zealots of tomorrow herald thy victorious name
With great vehemence, usher out of this age of ire and strife,
by burning down Eden with the tree that bore the fruit of life.
Sow the seeds of tomorrow on this here fertile and ashen land;
Let your glory purify the world of the wretched and the damned.
When our zeal shall evaporate like a dying star,
the birth of peace shall bury our war.
Original Post:
Edit 1:
When the Trojan horse was still a foal,
there burned a flame within a soul.
I feel its passion kindling the ember in my veins,
compelling me to hold the world by its reins.
Whether I was Charlemagne or Alexander,
kings and empires would crumble beneath my canter.
Biblical clay that would be hardened by heresy,
turned every flame into a testimony to my legacy.
My will; an inferno that would seek to ignite,
would entice others with the fragrance of might.
The fire that made even the gods tremble and fall,
made sure no man was able to withstand its call.
Arise, ye who would burn down Olympus with their own flame;
Let the zealots of tomorrow herald thy victorious name
With great vehemence, usher out of this age of ire and strife,
by burning down Eden with the tree that bore the fruit of life.
Sow the seeds of tomorrow on this here fertile and ashen land;
Let your glory purify the world of the wretched and the damned.
When our zeal shall evaporate like a dying star,
the birth of peace shall bury our war.
Original Post:
Quote:HI everyone! Here's my first post. I hope you like it.
In a distant past, where the horse of Troy was still a foal
There arose a scorching cinder within an ancient soul
Now more than ever, I feel its fiery passion kindling the ember in my veins
As insurmountable strength flows through me, while I hold the world by its reins
Atop of Buchephalian offspring, whether I was Charlemagne or Alexander
Kings and empires would crumble beneath my mighty canter
From the sacking of Jerusalem to Iskandarian clay, hardened by heresy
In my wake, every dancing flame would be a testimony to my legacy
My will was like a scalding inferno that would fervidly ignite
And entice others with the alluring fragrance of titanic might
The primordial flames that made even the gods tremble and fall
Made sure no mortal man was able to withstand its beckoning call
Arise, ye who would burn down Olympus with their own sacred flame
And let the zealots of tomorrow herald thy victorious name
With great vehemence, usher out of this age of ire and strife
By burning down Eden with the tree that bore the fruit of life
Sow the seeds of tomorrow on this here now fertile and ashen land
Let your blazing glory purify the world of the wretched and the damned
And when our smoldering zeal shall evaporate like a dying star
It shall be the birth of peace that will bury us together with our holy war