06-09-2017, 11:03 PM
(06-09-2017, 10:24 PM)71degrees Wrote: She pulls her eyes
out of their sockets,
holds them tightly
in each hand,
and tells me,
"See the things
I have seen,
the wonders.
This is my gift This is my gift to for you
to you."
I hold them close to me,
try to look through them.
I suppose it is the law
of nature their warm sight Punctuation after nature
fades a bit to dry and hollow—
But these eyes have seen
all the fragments of everything Using the word 'seen' twice makes it a little bit repetitive, perhaps go for 'witnessed'?
good and bad ever seen—
my hoary silence, the fat Brilliant choice of words, i love the flow of it.
of the day, a declension
of starlings against our sky.
The Poem is rather abstract and that's just the way i like it.
Here's my personal take on the poem:
'she' wants to tell her life story to someone. She's most likely an old lady since she had already seen the wonders of the world and it also reflects perfectly with the title, meaning that she wants to tell what she had done in those 32 years. With "I hold... ...through them" 'I' is trying to best to picture the story in front of him, just like it's being told - seeing the world through her eyes. Regarding the law of nature, and it fading to dry and hollow, i'm a bit lost there though. The ending is brilliant, as the 'I' is left in awe from the story he just heard, it had touched him so much that it declenses the sky, thus broading his horizon and perspective of the world.
Great piece of work!

