06-08-2017, 06:55 AM
(06-08-2017, 02:17 AM)calypist Wrote: Wide-set eyes on every face
Feral in their resting place
White-coat pushers sow and reap I could stretch to connect “sow” with handing out pills against dementia in the context of the line below, but I don´t get how intellect could be reaped from the poem´s words alone (though there are many reasons why intellect fades in the facilities I imagine this poem is about ..you could describe more what you mean)
Intellect and dignity dignity can surely be ripped away, but how does one sow it? I remember reading somewhere that human dignity is inalienable, so it wouldn´t have to be sowed in the first place, only preserved
Geriatrics standing by so the white-coat-pushers are nurses (I thought of them as the docs first), then why are the docs standing by?
Catching glimpses of the sky here I had to think a moment to realize that it was not the geriatrics who were doing that, maybe a new stanza could help.
Can’t remember how to fly, i can´t either, infact I never flew. so here I´d need a few associations to make “flying” work as a metaphor
So wait around instead to die.
this crit is based on my interpretation, so if I´m completely off just dismiss it.
otherwise I´d think it is a fine topic and you could expand your poem a little more.

