The Waning Lights of Northland
#2
(06-08-2017, 02:17 AM)calypist Wrote:  Wide-set eyes on every face
Feral in their resting place
White-coat pushers sow and reap     I could stretch to connect “sow” with handing out pills  against dementia  in the context of the line below, but I don´t get how intellect could be reaped  from the poem´s words alone  (though there are many reasons why  intellect fades in the facilities I imagine this poem is about ..you could describe more what you mean)

Intellect and dignity          dignity can surely be ripped away, but how does one sow it? I remember reading somewhere that human dignity is inalienable, so it wouldn´t have to be sowed in the first place, only preserved          
 
Geriatrics standing by              so the white-coat-pushers are nurses (I thought of them as the docs first), then why are the docs standing by?
Catching glimpses of the sky     here I had to think a moment to realize that it was not the geriatrics who were doing that, maybe a new stanza could help.
Can’t remember how to fly,       i can´t either, infact I never flew. so here I´d need a few associations to make “flying” work as a metaphor
So wait around instead to die.

this crit is based on my interpretation, so if I´m completely off just dismiss it.
otherwise I´d think it is a fine topic and you could expand your poem a little more.
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Messages In This Thread
The Waning Lights of Northland - by calypist - 06-08-2017, 02:17 AM
RE: The Waning Lights of Northland - by vagabond - 06-08-2017, 06:55 AM
RE: The Waning Lights of Northland - by homer1950 - 06-08-2017, 11:36 AM
RE: The Waning Lights of Northland - by nibbed - 06-10-2017, 12:47 AM



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