sunburn

[vagabond]

Hey Vagabond, 

I like the lines surrounding melanin/melatonin and the sun affecting the pigmentation of the skin. I think the poem might affect me slightly more if you went into more detail r.e the physical changes the skin is undergoing, as for me there is potential for a lot of harsh/almost uncomfortable imagery (maybe because of your use of the word 'hide'), but perhaps you want the idea of the sun on the skin to be more gentle? I think that if you want to narrow the reader's interpretation it might be good to specify how the sun is is doing what it's doing in the poem, e.g is it blistering/permeating etc or is it kissing/brushing the skin? You might like the ambiguity that is already present, however, in which case ignore me! 

I also think that the last line could benefit rhythmically from an added word/syllable. 

thanks for commenting, I ll consider more details.
you were right about the ambiguity.