Fifth Edit: The Swans in Wentworth Park

[vagabond]

The Swans in Wentworth Park

Webbed feet
firmly on the ground.       I´d consider another adjective instead of "firmly".
Feathers denied
the blue of the sky.          maybe something that has to do more with flight instead of "blue" (e.g. rush, or wind)
One wing open,
begging the breeze for elevation.   
The other wing lifeless:       I´d put a comma here like two lines above.
bloodied and mangled.  

Its eyes look desperate,     i think the word "look" could be left out.
while its mate
flies away,
soaring
higher than a dream.       here I´m kind of asking myself how a dream can be lower than anything real? or are you comparing dreams?

 swans often mate for life and have a mourning period when their mate passes away, some are even reported to die of heartbreak (maybe that´s just humanizing them).
so I´d imagine a fresh injury (bloodied wing) wouldn´t prompt abandonement so quickly.

BUT the poem reads as if you´d watched the scene happening. as a reader I could also see it, atmosphere and subject´s mood reflected well in what became metaphors.