Fallout revision 1

[Richard]

Hey Jana,
I'm not an expert at song critiquing, but I'll do this like it's a poem:

Fallout 

v.1
Fallout shelter underground -I think the fallout shelter could be a potent image. I just don't know if you develop it enough in this piece.
Survival gear scattered around -I would suggest not starting every line with a capital letter. It's considered a bit old-school in terms of poetics.
Drums of grains 
Mildew stains -From my experience, short rhyming lines like line 3 and 4 here, indicate a comedic tone, or come off as being a bit like a nursery rhyme. 
Cold war relics still remain -Again, I feel like the image of Cold War relics has potential. It just needs to be developed more.

v.2 
Rural folks lived to tell -I'm not quite sure why only rural folks live to tell...
Of days gone by, they knew too well -"days gone by" seems a bit cliche to me
Nightly war fears stoked 
Paranoia stroked 
Armageddon's been provoked -I like the last three lines here. I would suggest merging them into two lines, or even one.

c.1
The fallout is here -Where is "here"? I feel like this could be explained more.
We see it clear -I'm a bit confused on who the "we" is here.
Racketeering political sphere -Sphere feels like it's just used here to make a rhyme. I feel like it's the politicians that are guilty of racketeering.
Choking off our atmosphere -This sounds more like its talking about pollution than radiation from an atomic bomb.
Armageddon perseveres -This is a depressing line. I like it! I think should consider expanding the idea in this line.

v.3
Another generation's passed 
Fallout shelters holding fast -I'm sorry, but these two lines here made me think of the Fallout video games. Was that your intention?
Nightly war fears stoked 
Paranoia stroked 
Armageddon's been provoked -Even though I like these three lines, I don't think they need to be repeated.

v.4 
Fallout shelter underground 
Survival gear hand-me-downs -I like this line. Again, this is another idea that needs to be explored more.
Drums of grains 
Mildew stains -What makes the images in these two lines so important that it warrants repetition?
Armageddon's drum still sounds -I would suggest of thinking of another word to use instead of "Armageddon".

c.2
The fallout is here 
We see it clear
Racketeering political sphere 
choking off our atmosphere
Armageddon perseveres -I know this is the chorus, but if this a poem, do you think is important enough to be repeated?

This lyric is from a poem I wrote and converted into song format. I hope it's okay to post in this forum. Please ignore the font size differences. I'm not sure how that happened with a straight copy/paste. Odd. 

I hope I wasn't too harsh here. However, I feel like you have some images here that could be developed more thoroughly. I look forward to seeing where you take this piece from here.

Cheers,
Richard