06-04-2017, 06:38 PM
(06-02-2017, 04:53 AM)dukealien Wrote: SapsimileI'm missing I saw a...or even Saw a... I think it would make more sense and improve the meter ans sonics, I can't reaaly see the gain in leaving them out, to imply a saw? Maybe. I also don't understand vainly, he's pretty successful, and if there are dregs to be had the wino would be too. Fun read, just picking nits like ants.
Saw sapsucker this PM -
dirty-breasted, herring-backed,
urine-yellow afterparts -
climb the oak in staggered rushes
like a wino red of head
vainly seeking dregs of muscatel
in discarded bottles.
Oh, fun title, too.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips