Starkillers

[fluorescent.43]

first off, i quite like the title... though i've always been biased towards the abstract, evocative ones. anyways, a once-over this poem leaves a bit to be desired in terms of coherence, but more on that later...

Pride ate through the fragile mesh
of thoughts till enjambment is a bit wonky here.
a sundering of worlds came,
the incompleteness, taunting the incompleteness of whom? taunting you, perhaps?

In dark desires, glory was found
butchered, hung up by the window
for finer sensibilities interesting, interesting thoughts here. must be fleshed out and anchored to the ground, however.

Twisted tufts of bloody fur
marked the victims
better men did you mean to say victims of better men? bloody fur implies animals and i don't think this poem is ready for that implication yet.

Broken mirrors float
in the lonely space between
two halves; are we a love poem now?
"We are starkillers
Our truth will bind you
brand you
leave you hungry" is this a quote? either way, i think no need to leave it in quotes. if you do, be sure to punctuate correctly.

Grasping at holes not a pretty image.
as life flows out
failing to keep it together who's failing to keep it together? me?

Never-ending sham of
Completion huh?
of complexity, riddles
truths shared hesitantly quite perhaps it was your intention to write paradoxes.

Draw a gaudy heart
across an empty chest again, an interesting thought. a bit flat to end, but good enough.

i like some of the thoughts you introduced here and could not understand the rest. i think you know what this poem is written about and i don't have an inkling, which i find unfair. give us some clues at least. best of luck!

p.s. i forgot to mention this but i personally love the idea of killing stars and if you take care not to make it too cliche, it could serve as an anchor for what you've already got seeing as it's already the title. right now i don't see the connection.