05-16-2017, 10:21 PM
(05-16-2017, 08:19 AM)dukealien Wrote: May IIYou might cut "by", it seems wrong as your cap is moving along, not the bough (even if it's windy
Tiny-flowered bough
brushed by my cap in passing
showers face with scent.
). The last line doesn't do it for me; it's too general, I can't catch the scent, maybe just "lilac" or whatever it is, or something saying you can't place it if you can't.
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