We're All Born Knowing All (edit)

[tectak]

best,
t3ctak

I


Dogs go to heaven,
the preacher must’ve forgot
when he told you otherwise.


The words burn


a year later
when a boy misses the bus stop
but catches a noose.


Did the clergyman not recognize
the napalm in his breath
when he laid his voice on you—
your own hands can only bring you hell.


The world burns


before it is the world
and after.


II


Ten thousand years preceding
the original poodle
man steps out of the light
and into his head, 
shutting the blinds.


He didn’t recognize God’s face
in the plateau he pummeled
into jagged nothin’
calling that carcass, first temple.
                                  
Every moment is a revelation
to a mutt eating biscuits.

Hi make,
well, this a  car crash and no mistake. If you genuinely intend workshopping this you need to take a long, cold look at the piece and ask yourself one question...could I make it clearer? I am not given to guessing what the hell some esoteric, personal or obtuse poetry is about because it wastes my time in speculation and whatever crit is made on content slides in to subjectivity...so...before spending time on a line by line I will give you time to respond the the two other crits. I do this in the spirit  of the forum....my crit right now is that what you have written here requires a Turing test.
Best,
tectak

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