gravity

[vagabond]

Hello there Vagabond! What a beautiful poem you have here! I enjoy very much the symbolism you have used and wrote through astronomical images. Very telling and understandable, thank you for sharing!


A subtle embrace reaches out far                            Maybe get rid of out entirely? The position of out makes the sentence a little bit clunky, maybe.  thank you, you´re right.


and, against chaos, forms suns and their planets. 
But we keep on floating apart
as the space we´re demanding in time is expanding. I like the repetition of the -ing endings, it adds weight to the statement in my mind
 
I wish (it were so), but nothing is bright and warm                      wish, wish for what? I am not too sure about what you wanted to say here. 
and together in the same perfect order forever.
Energy escapes and stars seize to burn,                            
asteroids travel the darkness forlorn.
 
Distantly spinning around a black hole,               Mmmm, this sense of impending end  you wrote into the stanza is very emotional, very well worded 
pending to flee or to fall to the core
till the gradual evacuation of mass
is weakening gravity´s force.
 
It´s all just a circle and nothing is gone,               It feels like you are describing the end of a relationship, and the feelings of continuity after moving 
this vibrating mantra is filling the silence.           on. That one fact of not feeling comfort due to loss even though you understand the presence of 
Though trying hard to take it as comfort            loss, and I feel like you have very accurately depicted the remaining thoughts in present in the "circle"
all I know is I feel                                               The sense of finality here is feels stark and absolute, like the vacuum of space, and neatly helps
your attraction                                                      other astronomy symbolism continue cleanly.   
no more.

thanx for the comment