01-11-2010, 10:19 AM
thats well shown (the landscape) it's why i suggested saplings for twigs.
sometimes an overabundance of metaphor can be too much. i'm not saying thats the case for me here. i like what you have. what i'm saying is... for me one of the stanza is a little ambiguous in the theme of the poem. namely the 2nd one. i'll take that back. it's too out of touch with the rest of the poem. it's an opinion. mine and it will stay mine till something in the poem changes. not till the author tells me that i missed something. if i don't get what you intended or you think i didn't get what you intended one of us is missing something. if you think it's the reader then that's okay. (because it's your poem) it doesn't mean it will be better for me because you explain it to me. in truth i don't want it explained.
sometimes an overabundance of metaphor can be too much. i'm not saying thats the case for me here. i like what you have. what i'm saying is... for me one of the stanza is a little ambiguous in the theme of the poem. namely the 2nd one. i'll take that back. it's too out of touch with the rest of the poem. it's an opinion. mine and it will stay mine till something in the poem changes. not till the author tells me that i missed something. if i don't get what you intended or you think i didn't get what you intended one of us is missing something. if you think it's the reader then that's okay. (because it's your poem) it doesn't mean it will be better for me because you explain it to me. in truth i don't want it explained.