mother

[vagabond]

In the final stanza, to me, you seem to make a logically attempt to prove gods existence-  we feel pain because a greater being does at the same time.
i have no intention to prove god´s existence

 
deprived you of your mystic name My lack of imagination has caused a bit of a struggle on this line.
loss of respect for nature is what i wanted to describe
invent a god who´s far away

for to despoil you of your limbs 

“make earth subject” as bible prints I'm not really sure about is one either. i tried to explain in post #16 along with the bible quote

thank you for for reading and commenting!

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hi vag, just comments on the edit as i think it's the one that can be best edited.
actually i have no idea what you want that means


in general i'd suggest omitting unnecessary words and using if needed  punctuation instead;

measured, every element
down to your iron core                          wouldn´t it be strange if i left out the word that rhymes? i d have to eliminate more rhymes.. maybe i ll try a poem with the same content and without rhyme, but not today.

thanks for your comments.
i d like to know if it is expected to keep the original version intact in the first post or if i can just change it as i feel like.