the cure

[vagabond]

You provide a very interesting analysis of how feelings and emotions change over time. I particularly found your parenthetical comments amusing. However, I find that there are a lot of sentences with unorthodox structures, which (for me at least) obscure what you are saying. I will highlight the examples below:


the cure
 
just when that flickering light was sufficiently confined
and I had nestled in a comfortably dusky seclusion (not loneliness)
where my shame was invisible (at least to others) … This is well done. Perhaps the ellipsis could be placed within the parenthesis?
no, because each verse is supposed to remain unfinished.
 
so just when I thought I found peace (or rather meditated on acceptance) I giggled at this (In a good way)
and had felt nothing but relief because I have relieved myself
of all these things that lead to desire leads to hope … This is the line which I'm talking about. 'Leads to desire leads to hope' is not only comfortable to he ear, but also quite difficult to make sense of.
i could have written "these things that lead to desire and desire leads to hope" by confusing it i provoke you to make sense of it anyway.


no, just when I´d made of pain a memory, rapidly fading together
with something else (not the thrill), I was not sure anymore
if I ever was really hurt (but I have and might still) … Nice + unexpected rhyme. It almost seems unintentional.    you´re right about that, first i wrote "(I have and still might)" until i saw it.
 
but then, just when I thought there was – finally –  no more fear, I think that 'finally' should be bordered by commas rather than hyphens.   i wanted something stronger
no more reason, no care -  
you ignite the night. This is a very powerful and ominous line. To me it gives the whole poem a cyclical feeling to it. Well done.

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Fun read. I keep tripping on lead/ leads, maybe I'm missing something.The first two strophes are so strong but I spend the next two pedaling towards the end, which I like, so much better than a possible You stab me dead again, even if that's where it goes.

I think you express that moment well, thanks for the read.

i am actually surprised that you found something different than what i wanted to express AND it still works for you.
thank you.

Happens all the time. For me ignite the night is a positive thing.

for me as well