05-10-2017, 08:22 AM
Mother (3rd edit)
we measured every element
down to your iron core we scanned
but who you are is long forgotten
secret gardens reaped and rotten.
your name´s denied and undermined.
We crafted gods with false commands,
a warrant to despoil your limbs!
the answer that we´ll hear is grim:
we´re self-aware but cancerous fruit,
sprouts oblivious to our roots,
we ache because
we share your wounds.
________________________________
made a few changes thanks to all your replies.
i´d like to give some explanations to the content since I hope someone can provide me with a better way to say what I want to say.
so far I couldn´t make rhyme and meter any more accurate as well but I would only change those if it wouldn´t affect the meaning too much.
-the “crafted gods and false commands” refer to any personified god, mainly i targeted the christian one.
-i think mankind uses religion among other things in order to design a “ warrant to despoil (mother earth´s) limbs”
corresponding bible quote (had to look it up): Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
- although it may sound "cheesy": if there is any god I think “mother earth” or simply the universe is as close to the idea of god as we can get.
but the consequences are not conceivable anymore. that includes me as well, i use electricity, i drive a car, i am thankful for modern medicine.
still, there is a lingering shame due to something I perceive as a huge duplicity.
and i think the consequences (i.e. environmental pollution) can not be denied even if it is debatable wether progress does outweigh them or not. future may ultimately decide about that
______________________________________________________
here we go, it´s plain and preachy again. if i only knew how to make it more subtle.
[/quote]
we measured every element
down to your iron core we scanned
but who you are is long forgotten
secret gardens reaped and rotten.
your name´s denied and undermined.
We crafted gods with false commands,
a warrant to despoil your limbs!
the answer that we´ll hear is grim:
we´re self-aware but cancerous fruit,
sprouts oblivious to our roots,
we ache because
we share your wounds.
________________________________
made a few changes thanks to all your replies.
i´d like to give some explanations to the content since I hope someone can provide me with a better way to say what I want to say.
so far I couldn´t make rhyme and meter any more accurate as well but I would only change those if it wouldn´t affect the meaning too much.
-the “crafted gods and false commands” refer to any personified god, mainly i targeted the christian one.
-i think mankind uses religion among other things in order to design a “ warrant to despoil (mother earth´s) limbs”
corresponding bible quote (had to look it up): Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
- although it may sound "cheesy": if there is any god I think “mother earth” or simply the universe is as close to the idea of god as we can get.
but the consequences are not conceivable anymore. that includes me as well, i use electricity, i drive a car, i am thankful for modern medicine.
still, there is a lingering shame due to something I perceive as a huge duplicity.
and i think the consequences (i.e. environmental pollution) can not be denied even if it is debatable wether progress does outweigh them or not. future may ultimately decide about that
______________________________________________________
here we go, it´s plain and preachy again. if i only knew how to make it more subtle.
[/quote]