Do You Have Anything Good in that Needle?

[vagabond]

The lights above me are rainbows of chandelier crystal,
but flat and round like Alien Autopsy.                         just  .. flat and round? i somehow get the feeling even candlelights woudn´t have changed a thing. it´s quite normal to be afraid previously to an operation.  
"When I wake up, will I think I'm in heaven?"
The nurse says,"We'll give you glasses
so it doesn't seem so bright when you wake up."
"So that I don't accidentally go toward the light?" I quip.
In my case, it might be darker with a reddish hue.
Ha. Gallows humor.

My surgeon is an attractive man
with black-framed glasses and a commanding demeanor.
He says to me, "We'll take good care of you."
He's the kind of guy who gets offended if he sees you're nervous.              a good observation! these exist, though the offense can have different reasons than hybris.
So, I say, "I'm sure you will. I'm not worried,"                                 
but I think "You'd fucking better."

The anesthesiologist tourniquets my arm,
and assures me that he has something good in his needle.
He's wearing a black track suit like he just ran to the hospital
to poke me and leave. His black, hooded windbreaker  
makes him look like the outdoorsey type reaper
I'd expect to see in the Pacific Northwest—
the type that shops at REI and hikes up Mt. Rainier
at least once a year.

He assures me that he does this all the time, that it's routine.        unprofessional anaesthesiologist as well.. so no chance for trust here either   
I'm glad that there's snow on the mountains
outside my window. I hope that he is not a liar.         


*slight changes on 11/24/16 in response to Wjames*

this reads like an observation from the outside although you are talking about fear..
maybe the detachment is a way to manage during and afterwards the ordeal.

but this does not really make me fear

please take no offense, it´s just a subjective first impression.