cherished

[nibbed]

It's best not
to painfully watch.                Why close your eyes to suffering (it´s the only way i can understand those two lines)? while this might in extreme cases be healthy to prevent emotional trauma i wouldn´t suggest it in a poem about faith and love.

I'm not as poor
as the bits of hamburger
thrown in a piranha tank;          why not? everyone of us is mortal concerning this life. if there is an afterlife i guess we´d meet the cows there too (unless there is a separation by species)

you see, I know                              "believe" instead of "know". there´s nothing wrong with belief, but our knowledge is limited to the physical universe we are part of.
my end will really be
my beginning,

unlike the souls of men
who suffer intensely
never having been
cherished in this world                   
as they should have been.

They almost
cannot comprehend the One                    an arrogant assumption that it were possible to comprehend god at all.
who holds back the flooding tides,     point instead of comma.

He who spins the Earth,                        
and nurses the galaxies
in His palm

might just be
truly in love with them.                       .... unspoken end: if only they would believe? or what is the condition for "might" to turn into "is"? 

i really think you want to convince the reader. 
faith per se is not something i should want to criticize. but a poem about faith is.
if you want me to consider that there is this god who promises an afterlife and that there is no love for those who do not believe it, then you would have to try better.
fear of pain and suffering as well as verbal statements of gods allmightyness are no foundation for faith.
if you want the reader to believe then you´d  have to express HOW you experience that feeling. you need not necessarily state why.
but

i apologize in advance since i fear this reply may be too offensive, i have the feeling that you wrote this as a form of prayer.

Hi vagabond,

Thank you kindly for your critique.
I try not to get offended just because someone has a different view then me.
Being critical doesn't always mean someone doesn't care or even love another.
I am just learning this stuff...forever learning.
I wrote the poem when I was feeling terribly sad (and worried some).
Thank you for considering my poem, that is very kind.

I hope you have a joy-filled day
and someone or something gives
you a big lasting smile today.

janine