Spring May...or not.

[67eager]

Spring is a very heavily used subject of poetry, and you certainly haven't failed to uphold the success of other poems centred around this theme. The only real word that is causing me a lot of trouble is the word 'spire'. Because it is central to a lot of what is being discussed, what 'spire' is referring to should be made a little more explicit to the reader. What I particularly love about this poem is the way you have talked about the not so perfect yet common spring day: A rainy, cold and miserable one. You seem to discuss the way life almost stops on these occasions ie the curled up snail. Very well written



A bright parade of parodies, across the blue the pageant swirls.
Grey mares that prance and bears that dance; where twisting spires curl- I just can't figure out what these 'twisting spires' are.

and writhe up in to heaven's halls,- If it is simply heaven that you are trying to say, 'halls' seems a forced rhyme and unnecessary. Lovely imagery though.
 incongruously freeze and fall 
to fly the wind as stinging hail.
Bowed down blue-bells, whence climbed the snail
(when sunshine bid him seek the flower),
lie flattened now; slick-wet they cower
'neath pearls of ice to wait the calm.
The snail is shelled up out of harm.
Curled cold, he waits a summer day
when blasted Spring has blown away.
tectak
May 2017
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