Cold

[Szczepan]

I'm in the 10th grade, and I started writing poetry a few months ago. I'd never really written poetry before that. I wrote this one a few days ago after reading the book To Kill a Mockingbird.


Cold 

It was cold, 
And I thought: 
“A wrinkly, haunted man lives in that 
House. But not 
A feather that floated to rest on the fold. 
Then trampled, crushed and left it sat 
Alone, despised. A gust of wind 
Wears through its veins," but in that house— 
It was cold. 

Still I shiver. 
The iron fence 
Still groans in weathered rust and gives 
A lingered stench. 
The solemn, cold breezes of autumn all whisper: 
“A wrinkly haunted menace lives 
In that house. Raindrops pecker 
Down through my roof, but in that house— 
Still I shiver.

Wow. I really like the way that the poem connects the dots between the weather and you shivering because of the "haunted menace".
Don't know exactly how but if you could make that correlation work more to your advantage? "It was cold" pointed me in the direction
of the weather. If your 1st line could be ambiguous enough ... it could build up to the connection you are making.

More on how you tie things together well ...the "groaning fence" for me conjures up (weak pun intended) images of ghosts and ghouls somehow.
slight possible improvement ... fences don't tend to have stench ... but... they can surround them maybe. so perhaps
"Still groans in weathered rust and surrounds"

Misc ... what the raindrops were doing makes me think to much of a crude slang word ... possible to choose another verb?

Hope this is helpful!