Falling …notes found in an open field whilst walking.edit 1.0001. nibb,rich

[tectak]

Hey tectak,
The info about the parachuting does answer most of my questions. My only suggestion would be to make the fact that the fall is from a parachute jump a bit more apparent in the beginning of the poem. I've never gone parachuting (and probably never will because I have no sense of adventure), so it was actually new information for me that they use red and green lights for that purpose. I look forward to seeing what you do with this poem moving forward.

Cheers,
Richard

OK rich,
changes made.
I got asked about line lengths recently. I postulated that long read langorous, short read staccato. In this I tried to start off pensive and relaxed with anxiety growing towards that final jump. The rest is surmise
Thanks for your input.
Best,
tectak