Second Edit: Kings Road

[ellajam]

Hi, Richard, well done. For me the lower case i seems small for an I who just had such a big thought. Some notes:

Kings Road

they repaved this road
since the last time
i visited
now the drive leaving home is smooth
as a promise in an election year
Visited vs home is a stopper, a bit awkward though it is a concise way to say I used  to live there. I'm not sure if a change would help or hurt. Love the simile, as fresh as the promises are stale.


but that fresh pavement
is like the face of a gravestone
the yellow line an epitaph
that will inspire I think "that will" is something to think about, it just seems a bit wishy-washy compared to the definitiveness (not a word it seems) of the rest of the piece.
future generations

I'm enjoying this, thanks for posting.