Fiddler Crab (revised)

[nibbed]

Hey nibbed,
I found your wording in this poem quite nice in some spots. I just think you might be trying to say too much in such a short poem. I'll explain more below:

Fiddler Crab

Cymbal waves disguise -I love "Cymbal waves" as a way to describe how the ocean sounds. This is wonderful language use.
the giggles you create, -Why are people laughing at the crab? I feel like you need to explain this line more.
as sandy stages boast -I like "sandy stages." However, how can sand boast?
intimidation's fattest claw; -I sort of understand what you mean here, but it could be clearer.
Bisque armor covers -Can bisque be an adjective?
the tenderest heart. -Why does the crab have a tender heart? I get the feeling that you may not be talking about the crab. However, if that is the case, you need to explain that more with additional lines.
Side steppin's more precious
with you, tiptoe dancer. -These two lines have a nice rhythm and sound to them. Why are the crab's side steps so precious though? I feel like you need to explore this idea more.

I think you need to ask yourself what you want the message of this poem to be. You have some nice language use here that just needs a more defined purpose behind it. Is this poem actually about a crab, or is the crab a symbol for someone or something? If it is about the crab, then what makes the crab so interesting that it deserves to have a poem written about it? If the crab represents someone or something else, then focus on developing that connection. I hope this critique isn't sounding too harsh. I just think your poem has real potential to it. You just need to tighten up your focus.  I look forward to seeing where you take this poem from here.

Keep writing,
Richard

Thanks, Richard! That is just the help I needed! I was watching a fiddler crab the other day dancing on the sand and he was so cute... I just giggled at his maneuvers. I thought he had a tender heart because he was trying to act so tough against a giant, me, and I wondered if his shell was much protection at all...Thanks for helping me, I knew it was a bit rough and jumbled and in need of work. The crab certainly deserves a poem to be written about him! I will try to edit tomorrow after a good night's rest! Thank you so much for reading and considering my poem!   janine