Fourth Edit: The Loneliest Feeling

[homer1950]

First Edit:
Hi richard some thoughts, Thanks Homer

the loneliest feeling

i feel
like a hungry refugee in a tent

behind my eyes;
is a mix------------------------------------------- this line takes away power that the piece is trying to invoke
of fear, rage and self-loathing
and when i ask myself why
the only answer is nowhere------------ Nowhere? nowhere to be found?

my eyes look (I am) desperate--------- Use of eyes again would be redundant here
my future is measured numerically
by those who kiss their wives before bed
those who tell their children-------------------- Are those kissing their wives a different group then those telling their children?
the world is fair,
those who refuse to look me in my eyes

(If you wanted to use "Those" differently I suggest emphasizing the word "who" instead)

I am desperate
my future is measured numerically 
by those;
who kiss their wives before bed,
who tell their children the world is fair,
who refuse, to look me in my eyes


i blink--------------------- Not much blinking in a night dreams is this a day dream?
and the dream ends
i lie next to my wife
my child safely sleeps in the next room
and my empathy
(is) denied entry based on ethnicity