Red Velvet Sunrise

[inmostcave]

(I wrote this poem trying to convey a feeling of acceptance and empowerment.)

I am sitting on the roof as the morning stretches blue sleep away and drags                 this lining here is a bit odd

a red velvet across its shoulders. Everything is smaller than me.                                    i like how you say "everything is smaller than me" somethimes we need to give ourself that bit of empowerment

I finger the brick, red and raw like dried blood but it is far.                                            got me lost here
          I am becoming. Girl as city.                                                                                 well, maybe you can find a better way to emphasize your point. 

There are lights. Tarps in windows, curling plants. Streets have cars missing                         
like teeth, those already gone off to work or those who haven't come home
yet. 

There is a wind that tussles my hair like his hand. Donuts are being sprinkled,                   i can't see why you picked out donuts out of all the things being sprinkled. but i'm sure you had a reason for that

shower curtains drawn back. I am shuddering - not from the cold but from the                 
hum in my chest. An old song, dizzy in my head, plays; An old man singing from              
a mountain to his heart, lost somewhere in the town below

"I am here and it's okay, you can forget about me"                                                           nice ending though

well what a ride. But i get what you trying to convey here, though there are times where you had me lost with the linings. I'd say read your poem out loud. it really helps. 
I really like how you had a good intention by making this poem.

Keep on writing your stuff, Wordgobbler