Red Velvet Sunrise

[JasonM.]

(I wrote this poem trying to convey a feeling of acceptance and empowerment.)

I am sitting on the roof as the morning stretches blue sleep away and drags 
a red velvet across its shoulders. Everything is smaller than me. I finger the  ( I enjoy this start of the poem, I feel the morning haze and sunrise. )
brick, red and raw like dried blood but it is far. ( This part really threw me off at first, but after a few reads it adds a nice darkness to it. Just my thought)
          I am becoming. Girl as city. ( Is this representing the girl finding her identity with the city?) 
There are lights. Tarps in windows, curling plants. Streets have cars missing
like teeth, those already gone off to work or those who haven't come home
yet. There is a wind that tussles my hair like his hand. Donuts are being sprinkled,
shower curtains drawn back. I am shuddering - not from the cold but from the ( I really like all of the descriptions used here, I can vividly see all of it)
hum in my chest. An old song, dizzy in my head, plays; An old man singing from
a mountain to his heart, lost somewhere in the town below
"I am here and it's okay, you can forget about me" ( this ending is not as powerful as the beginning. I don't know if this is on purpose but I feel a more striking ending would go well.)  

I like the images that this poem portrays and the sense of wandering it gives. It starts off strong but ends a little weak. Overall I enjoyed this poem, thank you for sharing!