04-26-2017, 12:40 PM
UHi! So, two lines that really stuck out to me were
"I once stood on the top of a tide / since I was so high it seemed fine to shut my eyes"
I know it's not a perfect rhyme but the latter part really does hit hard. It seems like it could be applied to a lot of situations, which is good in poetry since you want the reader to relate. It could be about, and this is just those two lines isolated, when you are really in a moment and you're feeling safe so you start to let go and disregard yourself which can eventually lead to trouble.
I really think this poem is eloquent, simple and it doesn't need subtle metaphors woven into it, it is what it is. What you see is what you get, and I really like that.
"I once stood on the top of a tide / since I was so high it seemed fine to shut my eyes"
I know it's not a perfect rhyme but the latter part really does hit hard. It seems like it could be applied to a lot of situations, which is good in poetry since you want the reader to relate. It could be about, and this is just those two lines isolated, when you are really in a moment and you're feeling safe so you start to let go and disregard yourself which can eventually lead to trouble.
I really think this poem is eloquent, simple and it doesn't need subtle metaphors woven into it, it is what it is. What you see is what you get, and I really like that.