Cutting the cord

[Brownlie]

Cutting the Cord

The cutting of the fleshy cord -- Why not say umbilical cord? Isn't that a cooler pair of words than fleshy cord?
the first ritual of my independence -- Who remembers being born? Out of the gate this is retrospective.
no longer a living extension
of my Mother’s body -- Is anyone ever sure about that?
for I’m now severed to live life apart -- What about the feeding?

But since developing to a man --- Seems wordy. As a critic, I can say that and do nothing useful. 
two plugs lay nestled in my ears
their white slinder cord hang -- Why slinder? I know what headphones look like. 
around me like a noose -- Noose seems too dramatic for headphones.   
and I am weighed down
by the electronic device its connected to -- Cool comparison. Would rather hear music than neighbors though.

It is my soul’s narcotic, my mind’s opiate -- Booze, drugs and whatnot =  far more numbing than Facebook.
for I always carry it around, -- For to make me a turkey sandwich? For sounds archaic or an act of begging profundity from archaic phrasing. 
like a drip feed
I cannot live without it
at the forsaking of everything else -- the forsaking? 
even the maker’s loving hand

So the cutting of this cord
Is not just a ritual of my independence
but of my dependence
to my heavenly father above
whose arm I now cling to
like a helpless babe. -- Can do better than "helpless." An action like crying would be more powerful than an abstract generalization. 

Good metaphor with the headphones and whatnot.