First Edit: poems

[Mark Cecil]

I really like the overall message of this poem. I can really relate to it.  I have made a few suggestions, you can dismiss them at your leisure

poems

poems
folded
like old money
collected as a curiosity –
no one accepts them anymore

this was his life’s savings
now I would put "now utterly worthless" on the same line
utterly worthless
his hope collateral 
"His collateral"
repossessed by those uneducated in metaphor

his mind cracks
a sound so familiar
that it’s dismissed as the wind I like the imagery here of how the poet's suffering goes on without anyone noticing or responding

a thousand years ago
he was a king of sorts
tomorrow
he may be again
but today he is merely broke  Really like this stanza it brings the poem to an appropriate end suggesting potential hope for the poet but also the suffering of the current situation.