Song (3rd revision)

[nibbed]

Hi burrealist. I like this poem. It has a lot of helpful truth, thank you.
Your 3rd revision is greatly improved.


Song


if time dies
or skies fall


or waves stand idle
sonic without sound,


its empty song will say goodbye for you,        ----took me a bit, but I get it


lie down
encased in sound
euphony of you


when we sleep
we rise and fall


echoes through an empty hall                           ----this line here had me captivated and holds mystery...but sounds cool regardless


we hold time still
in our arms                                                        ----how do we hold it still in our arms?


waves continue, we move


I'll savor memory,                                        
its fadeless shine in blue


spare its harmony


I've felt what song can do



I don't usually, but I like the balance of your centered format,
it sort of makes the poem seem to "float". It works better
than my copy & paste above. Best wishes to you.