when walls fall edit #1

[nibbed]

Hi. Okay, I like this poem. Honestly I don't like a lot of poetry.
This is kinda like the mushy stuff that girls like.
It's fresh, too...not fresh like a guy making a pass fresh,
but fresh, okay...refreshing!
I also like the rhyme, it has some bounce. Let me see here:


When Walls Fall                                    Okay the title drew me in. I thought of political stuff, but also things to do with healing.
 
brick upon brick
a modest wall
grew inch by inch
just short of tall                                     It's a wall that doesn't measure up.
 
storm after storm                                   
did seek to breech
but drop after drop,
inside, never reached                             Impenetrable?
 
day after day
onslaught persisted
drip, chip, drop, chip                              Interesting play on words, actually
but integrity remained                            expresses an attempt
 
what remained was polished                   refinement
crude brick to striking marble
what survived was proud
commonplace to modern marvel            this has me wondering
 
One by one
they came to behold
one by one
they smiled and posed                            this had me thinking several things, perhaps final resting or someone being photographed
 
hand after hand
callous and rough
touch after touch
met a wall too tough                               meanness or roughness does little good
 
until the unfeeling wall
was met by warm lips,
like the first sip of a hot tea
arousing a foundational shift                     a clue of instruction, perhaps...mystery
 
kiss after kiss                                            some would laugh and say uh-oh mono, but these kissing lines are very poetic
not harsh as storm
kiss after kiss
nor unwanted grope                                good point
 
kiss after kiss                                             I see a melting of sorts,
wore wall to rock
kiss after kiss
wore rock to stone                                    love wins
 
kiss after kiss
now a grain of sand
no wall to kiss
no wall to stand                                        dissolved and surrendered


I am sorry I can't be more helpful.
I'm a bit dinged out...maybe I need some tea!
Seems the poem is plenty good already to me.
Thanks so much for the read!