Office Odyssey

[Todd]

I enjoyed this conceit Leanne. If I'm reading properly I get a Odysseus meets Willy Loman type joining. The office job becoming a tragic journey for meaning.

Mundane feet carry him through--We have no ship (though you do allude to it later) but we start with a journey. One that carries him through an ordeal--excellent choice of breaking on the word signifying a journey and an ordeal.
tar pit days--I like this for a few reasons. It definitely implies sluggish immobility and opposition to progress. It also is something that holds the remains of dinosaurs something ancient and great now a remnant of the past. When you flip from myth to office you get the sense of the meaningless sense of forward progress but also perhaps the leaving behind of a greater dream or vision.
littered with vertebrate notions--Here's the dinosaur image pulled forward with vertebrate but it also gives the idea of the idea of possessing a backbone "certainty" "vigor" etc and than realizing that it needs to be cast off in the journey. Perhaps a slight (very slight) nod to transformation Circe.
spraying violet across--spraying evokes the sea. Violet possibly a hint of danger in the darkening waters perhaps a lotus bloom forshadowing. 
the curtained physical--This is an interesting way to imply that what we see (sensory, material) is blocked of from a greater reality. In what way is our "hero" blocked off from the true forces at work in the story.
 
A long-awaited breeze--hope of movement. We think of the sails. The promise of fulfilment.
teases his lips
stealing from them the passion--land of the lotus eaters. That it teases the lips sets up eating with this line as the result.
it will sell to his frenzied fingertips--sell meaning that there is a cost and frenzied an addiction
 
His pirate moments challenge the blind--a nod to the sea, and a roguish sense. We now have our Cyclops. You could tie in the idea of nobody a little more if you like.
and wrestle insolent sunlight--Ajax and the oposition of Apollo
through adolescent panes--feels like a play on the word panes/pains. Competitive, sexual in some regards
until, magnified, it burns--Conquest and destruction
 
and Ilium falls again--great line especially the break to set it off and the again to make it interesting. Is he always reliving past glory and through his passions bringing this end.

I'm not sure I followed that closely enough and I need to read it more, but I enjoyed spending time with it.

Best,

Todd