Moving (Edit #1)

[aschueler]

We buried revenants in the sand of an ancient dune 
    and then abandoned them.  could lose "the sand" and "and" which are implied

Adjacently is an inverted spiral 
    filling slowly with water,  make active by losing "is", sub "fills" for "filling" - but static also good here
    a large sand bowl spring fed yet dry.  hyphen needed ("spring-fed") which preserves the spiral/spring connection

How long, how much water until
    you can float?
    If you lie supine
    hold your breath in, 
    be still, maybe you can rise
    but not turn over.

A disturbingly large bird stilt-walks  perhaps lose "along" and move line break to after "bird?"
     along the sand.
It recurves its long sinuous neck  "long" seems redundant with "sinuous"
     so its eyelashed dark eye closes to yours,
     inquisitive of your motive.

Some arresting images here.  My overall suggestion, in mild critique, would be to strengthen them by eliminating unnecessary words (see above).  The poem is stark; this would intensify that quality.

Ingenious aspects are an *inverted* spiral (a real brain-twister) and bird eyelashes (suggesting a Sphinx-like human head).  An engagingly mysterious poem - good read!

Thanks for reading.  I appreciate the suggestions in cutting down the verbiage!  I especially appreciate "fills" etc., not sure why I didn't catch that before but it's much better.

It is out there, I half expected first comment to be completely "weird shit".