03-26-2017, 12:24 AM
This felt a little too elusive/bare bones to me. I like poetry that leaves questions or is open to interpretation, but it helps when there is a bit more description. I think the demon bit needs to be fleshed out - the external demon that you see made sense to me (I interpreted this as drugs personally) but translating that to memories/internal experience felt a bit clunky. You say the demons "play the movie" - but aren't the thoughts themselves the demons? I might be digging too deep into this but that's the part that tripped me up.