Opium is the religion of the masses

[Todd]

Hi Dale,

Your title is fantastic. One of the problems with that is the poem has to work hard to live up to it. I think a short poem can still accomplish that (especially given that Marx extended quote is fairly short with some melodramatic points (heart/heartless, etc). So, just some thoughts to tighten it up a bit.

Opium is the religion of the masses
 
The rich throw us under their mill,--class warfare and suffering good tight start.
indiscriminately grind our flesh & bones,--This would be stronger if you cut indiscriminately
yet forbid us poppies to succor--While I don't hate this line, it may not do quite enough. Succor isn't a bad word but maybe you want something that might imply worship or liturgy. This line works but if you're intending to make this work in four lines it feels like a bit of wasted space. If this were double its length I wouldn't even comment in this way (not saying you should double it).
our mental anguish or quite our pitiful moans.--I saw the typo correction so I won't dwell on that. I think rather than focusing on the abstract mental anguish and the more concrete pitiful moans you may want to transport the speakers to ecstasy. Marx was making a criticism on a relief from suffering while leaving the suffering in place. In this instance, you eliminate an element of the suffering (with a trade off). If you were to keep this construction I would find a substitute for mental anguish and keep these images more concrete. 
 
erthona
 
©2017 

Just some thoughts to consider.

Best,

Todd