03-17-2017, 09:30 AM
(03-17-2017, 08:33 AM)ellajam Wrote: Taking What I Get
I wake in darkness while the world's in bed,
succumb to silence luring me with space
to sort ideas and shift them into place.
I catch the comets streaking through my head
and forfeit sleep for solitude instead, solitude instead/quietude has fled very nice
recharging for my daily steeplechase interesting choice in steeplechase, cant complain
by letting rhymes and meter run their race
before this cherished quietude has fled.
Too soon the dawn pokes holes in night's reprieve
and family usurps my time like thieves. Family tripped me up because I automatically said famly, but family usurps is a nice combo.
Our interlocking threads have formed a whole:
each one held firmly in a tight-wrought weave 'tight wrought weave' and 'time like thieves' tripped me up and threw me off pace
producing patterns each could not conceive.
Their company atones for what they stole.these four lines confuse me after the clarity of the first 10 lines, and I think it's the last lines fault. Are you the company atoning for relishing the thinking space stolen from family?
Quite an enjoyable road to ride, the bumps may even offer character, thanks for sharing!
(For fun, but I'm trying to tune up my meter ear. I always have bumps, any help identifying them is greatly appreciated.)
Peanut butter honey banana sandwiches