city diary: October

[Lizzie]

Hi baifan! I have a few thoughts for you to consider.

city diary: October -- I like the title, lets us orient by giving us a location and a time of year

October rain falls outside my window. -- I don't think you need to reiterate that it's October since it's in your title.
I dare it. -- what if you did:

Rain falls outside my window.
I dared it to
drown me. I live on the third story.

Then it would give the impression that the speaker dared the rain to fall and to drown them. Makes the speaker seem even more confident in their powers.
Drown me. I live on the third story. -- I like this a lot.
I go outside. -- 'go outside' is pretty bland, and it's repetitive since you already have 'outside' in the first line. I'd think of something more dynamic/evocative like you have 'splash' in the next line.
I splash in a puddle. -- I'm thinking this is to signify that the rain has failed to deliver the commanded deluge? Otherwise it feels like a WTF ending. Maybe modify 'puddle' with something along the lines of mere or measly?

There's an abundance of I's for such a short poem. I don't see the need for so much repetition.

I like that disparity between what was hoped for and what was received -- seems so rich with possibility.

Thanks for sharing!

Lizzie