Rewind (Revision)

[Todd]

Todd - about the point: for me it was a standout line in the poem and I did notice it somewhat when you left it out as you can see.

I'll add it into a previous version on this thread and think about it. I'm doing something right now with the ripple pond language that may allow for me to reintroduce a version of it back into the poem (my astrophysics is weak though so I'm doing some reading at the moment).

Actually I'll just post the original opening here for reference. In this version it was the sound that was the ripple.

The noise of the chair falling
to the ground compresses
and fades into a single point 
in space, a ripple returning 
to the pond’s surface.